My Why

December – 2013

Sitting on a (figuratively) personally engraved bar stool… Drunk… Watching muted sports highlights on a huge flat-screen. “Why can’t I get one of these at home?”

3 Jameson’s (on the rocks), 2 beers, and several shots simply because I walked into the bar; I’m telling myself to slow it down because it’s only 11 and have several hours to go. Marathon, not a sprint. Close the show (bar) like the champion I am, and then wrestle my friends in the parking lot. “Why am I craving BBQ rib sandwiches from Mobil?”

Later that morning.. Up for work.. A little woozy, but nothing a cigarette can”t cure. Intermittent waves of nausea. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

Back at work.. Managing emotionally disturbed children.. Feeling overworked, under-appreciated, under-supported, underpaid; just like everyone else in the place. Supporting those who don’t support me… Asking myself, “Why I am I still here… Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

To hell with it.. With them… Only a few more hours, then I’m gonna go out, and have a good time tonight. That”ll show ’em.

Several hours later… Back on my bar stool.. Drunk… Ranted and raved about the injustices at my job.. Now watching muted sports and commercials.. Laughing to myself (at myself?)… “Why am I here again?”

Half a liter of Jameson, several beers, and many assorted shots later..Bar’s closed.. Jammed a finger wrestling in the parking lot. I think it’s broken (I’ll put a cold beer on it when i get home)… “Why do I keep craving those damn Rib-B-Q’s?”

Early next morning.. Newport for breakfast… Shower… Spinning in my office chair.. “Pondering all.. “When you gonna stop asking yourself why, and do something about it?”

New Year’s Resolution… Get my shit together, and make some moves.. I’ve still got a couple weeks.. “Why not go out tonight?” Short-term memory problem I developed in college.

I digress.


At work… New Year’s Resolution not going so well. It has dawned on me, I’m depressed. I’m scared.. Terrified actually.. It’s been brutal trying to manage disturbed kids and staff when I feel so disturbed myself. My late night behavior is probably contributing.. No more why, but how can I stop this?

Had a little chat with the higher power.. I was told, “Be still, and make ready to receive.”

Maybe 20 minutes later, my phone rang. I was my friend, Kelly, calling me a convention in Dallas, Texas.

She asked me if I was ready to try a nutritional program she had been mentioning to me. I was desperate.. She was very excited.. I got very excited. I was about make some major changed in my behavior over the next 30 days, participating in something called Nutritional Cleansing.

All I had to do was drink chocolate shakes twice a day (uhh, ok..), drink a little superfruit  juice, and stay away from red meat, dairy products, processed foods, and alcohol for 30 days.

No Alcohol for 30 days? “Why not. I’m down!”

21 days later.. I was down almost 20 pounds, several inches lost from my waist and other areas, and actually added some muscle.

I actually took a picture of myself with my shirt off, and posted it on Facebook.. I still cant believe i did that. That pic probably got more “likes” than I’d ever seen in the three years I’d been on Facebook combined.

Most importantly, I was feeling uplifted, content, focused, and very positive about life in general. I had a tremendous sense of accomplishment. I didn’t care about losing weight.. Not what I was in it for.. I was in it to correct my very toxic lifestyle.

Problem solved.

September 19, 2014

I’m almost done writing this. I feel better than i have in years. I left the job the unfulfilling job and all of it’s drama behind. No regrets.. No looking back..

I decided to join my friend Kelly in the business of spreading health and wellness to others.

Today, I’m a Certified Wellness Coach, accredited by the National Exercise and Sports Trainer’s Association (NESTA), and the American Association of Drugless Practitioners (AADP). I’m conducting a small practice with private clients, and I’m also a representative for the world’s leader in whole-body Nutritional Cleansing.

Now the only why I have is…

“Why didn’t I do this a year ago?”

– O. Salim Thornton

For more information on the benefits of Nutritional Cleansing, see my blog post “The Phenomenon of Nutrtional Cleansing” or contact me using the information available on this page.

3 thoughts on “My Why

  1. You got out before the Jamison’s became Seagrams. This is the tale of millions but the turn around you experienced drops the number down considerably. I’ve always had reservations about wellness coaches. I think perhaps because I have been at the mercy of LCSW’s for so long. I am the Stepford Patient. Write on, my friend. Write ON.


    • Thanks for the feedback.. It’s still relatively new, but I believe the profession is poised to expand, and I’m glad to be actively expanding the scope. I spent 14 years working in mental health (7 years inpatient psych as a Mental Health Worker, 7 in residential care), and even with my own turbulence, Ive been able to come to a place of peace.. More importantly understanding about myself.. And maybe even some forgiveness.. I’ve gained several clients based on forming an actual relationship. I don’t judge or presume I can fix any or everything.. I seek to work with someone’s strengths and inner desire for change, and support them through the process. I’m not motivated by money, or pride. I have an active interest an all I work with.. “Your success, is my success.” That’s just how I feel. I’ve had the privilege of working with some great people of all disciplines who truly care (they are few, but do in fact exist). I d like to think I’ve learned a lot. I’d also like to think I understand your reservations. I’ve seen the bullshit too. I’ve cleaned up after a million times too. It’s one of the chief reasons I’m able to write to you today. Thanks for the encouragement..


  2. I’m on a similar path! Mine started from a spiritual standpoint, then to vegetarianism, quit smoking, quit all the processed crap, and now, moving forward with a Wellness career! Scary but exciting! It feels good to spread the word about natural wellness.


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